Regressive Pull: A Small Group Leader's Worst Enemy

What is it?

Regressive Pull is a fancy psychology term for losing sight of yourself as the leader and placing more importance on being "one of the group." 

Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Bob Ditter, describes the phenomenon, "... Regressive Pull, is when adults, after spending much time with children begin to look and act just like the kids. They become more impulsive, easily excited, sarcastic in their verbal interactions, or easily ruled by their feelings. In other words, adults can become overstimulated, too! Once a counselor has regressed, there is a loss of perspective and sense of consequences that may result in unsound judgment calls." 

What does it look like?

A great example of this is a small group leader talking or being disruptive when a large group occurs. There is nothing more disrespectful to a teacher than an adult making things more difficult. 

Another example is the adults gathered in the back of the room while the kids sat on the floor. Again, the adults would rather be with their peers than with the kids.  

The closer the leader is to the age of the kids, the greater chance of regressive pull. So yes, that means teens are at a greater risk. However, do not rule out those that are young at heart.

How do I stop it?

When you see this behavior, you had better handle it quickly, of course, graciously.  

Try this: "Hey [leader], I can see how important it is for you to bond with the kids on their level, and that is precisely what we want. However, remember that they are looking to you to set the example of behavior so remember to keep the balance between being a friend and a leader, ok?

Is there an upside? 

If your volunteers are showing signs of regressive pull, it is an indication that they deeply desire to connect with their group. This is an excellent sign. Therefore, restate expectations frequently, praise positive leadership examples, and privately counsel those that struggle. 

Stay the course. 

Run the race. 

Do not grow weary. 

Reap the harvest.